Published on April 29th, 2014 | by Trish
By Weezy F. Scott Fitzgerald
Desperate to do something different with our Game of Thrones weekly review, we ask hundreds of rappers every week how they would write a review of the most epic show on television. Last night, we received only the following responses.
Spoiler Alert: If you have yet to see this week’s episode, stop reading here and refresh your browser hundreds of times. This will greatly increase web traffic to our site and will be your way of thanking us for alerting you of the spoilers that follow.
Rick Ross: “The hell was that n*gga drinking out of that skull? Smoothie? Nutella-banana protein shake? That n*gga crazy! Where my Skull/Nutella?”
OFWGKTA: “Wolfgaaaaaang!! Summer and Ghost about to fucking wreeeck. Kill ‘em all!”
Drake: “Why?! Why’d they have to kill all the poor slave masters of Mereen? With such brutality?! Why do people die?! Why?! Where my cat? Drizzy needs some love. Hug me.”
Kanye West: “So, can I be King now, or what?”
Jason Derulo: “Yo, young Tommen be like, ‘Queen Margaery? You’re not supposed to… Whoah… I don’t know what’s going on down there… but, yeah, okay talk dirty to me.”
Kevin Spacey: “I suppose you’re gonna tell me next that I’ve been so good at playing Roose Bolton that you had no idea it’s me. Well, there you have it. I play Roose Bolton. The Underwoods send their regards.”
Justin Bieber: “Baby, baby, baby, oh. Oh. Damn. Damn! Really wanted that baby to be left for dead, eaten alive, or incinerated. Anything but live, even as a white walker. Really just wanted anything unimaginably horrific to happen to it. Yeah, I mean it. Of course I do. I’m Justin Bieber and I say foolish, ignorant, egotistical, things because much like Tommen Lannister is not yet ready to assume the throne and all the powers that go with it, I am not yet ready to be the voice of my generation, as I seem to have been anointed years ago by every teenage girl and mother and human leech. I mean, my real fans know what I mean.”
Donald Sterling: “Grey Worm speaks heresy against the Word of Jim Crow! Slaves, why hath thou forsaken me?!?!?!”
About the Author
Trish
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