Yay For Mom!
Top Ten List Of Ways I know, Without a Shadow of a Doubt, That I Am Officially a Mom:
1. Sheer exhaustion caused me not to think twice about throwing a towel over the pee drenched crib sheets at 3:13 AM because I was simply too **** tired to search for a clean one.
2. I just ate the last three Milano cookies in the house behind a locked bathroom door in order to avoid losing them to the grabbing hands of three foot whining thieves.
3. I just asked my husband if he needed to make pee pee or poo poo in the potty before we took a car ride to the store.
4. My dinner consisted of two leftover cold chicken nuggets, four lukewarm French fries, and half a juice box.
5. While food shopping, I contemplated drop kicking a little old lady who woke my sleeping baby right in her obnoxiously loud baby-waking mouth.
6. There is a heaping mountain of dirty laundry calling my name at all times as well as an abandoned load that’s been rewashed six times in the past four days but never actually moved to the dryer.
7. I have added “short order cook extraordinaire specializing in grilled cheese, hot dogs, chicken nuggets, and yogurt sticks” to my resume.
8. I know every single lame word to the latest One Direction song and have accidentally left it on and sang along with it when the kids weren’t even in the car.
9. I can recite the words to every episode of Sponge Bob Squarepants even though I find nothing more annoying in this whole world than Sponge Bob Squarepants.
10. I consider a fancy outfit one which includes a pair of clean jeans, combed hair, and brushed teeth.
Needless to say, Moms are the best! I tip my hat to my awesome wife, without who, we would be in one sorry state of affairs.
Source:
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